Sometimes I miss New York City, but really I just miss the people. I always have this sort of odd feeling that the people I know in nyc would be people I like even more outside of nyc. I suppose it's similar to seeing a masterpiece in a museum or seeing it in someone's living room, or studio. It's convenient to be in a place like new york, but you lose a bit of the impact of things.

Tonight I did end up going out, though I didn't even bother to bring my ID. I haven't been drinking lately, I had one on new years, but it's been a while besides that. I don't feel bad about drinking, but I don't feel like spending money on it right now. It was a pretty pleasant evening, saw a lot of good people and caught up with a pretty important one. Reaffirmed to myself that my favorite time of night is around 2-3am, perfect for biking around savannah. I still haven't found that perfect girl to bike with me, but I can't help feeling that savannah at night by bike is intensely romantic.

I think my friend paul got hit by a car? I hope he's allright. I don't really know much about it. It seems like almost everyone I know who rides gets hit at some point in savannah, but very few of them result in serious injury, so I'm keeping my fingers crossed. I know I've been extremely lucky (though I don't take that many risks).

Tomorrow I hope to make progress in understanding the fullness of my being. hah.

I just read The Stranger, by Albert Camus.

I'm not sure what to think yet, though it certainly is something that I'm glad to have read in the context of other things I have read. I'm really not sure. I'm not sure of much these days. I feel like while I was reading it I thought of Murakami's protagonists, caught up in a society that pushes them along a path, ending up in strange places but never really feeling like they'd made a decision.

I'm at a stage right now where I'm simply reading and absorbing a lot, and my brain is processing it on a level that isn't connected with language or decision making but is important nonetheless. The things I'm most looking forward to reading are more short fiction, Tolstoy, Dostoevsky, Beckett, Hesse, among others. If anything, I've only read longer works by any of these people, and I think about how I never really appreciated Kafka until I read his short parables, most much smaller than a page.

It seems some people really understand things, but I'm not one of them. I guess math, to me, is concrete, but only because I'm not smart enough to see where it starts to become fluid and ethereal.


unrelated journal entry

Laundry is a slight mystery to me. The exact workings of it vary, but there are times where I will pile clothes in a corner until at some late night moment they are suddenly clean and I will fold them neatly and sort them into a drawer.

I find showers to be a simple joy in life and take a certain pleasure out of washing my hair or having a few minute sit on the shower floor. Sometimes I will shower multiple times in a day. This is probably wasteful, but I admit to having many flaws.

At the least, I am probably a being of complicated smells.

I ripped up my first book ever today.

I wasn't planning on doing so, but after having given reading it my best possible shot, the only response available seemed to be to physically tear it apart. So I did. This is the book. I'm not going to go into detail on my views of money and consumer society at this point, it is not necessary.

What is necessary is that I point out your money would be better spent buying a subscription to a bestiality site and ductape for your eyes or even, more appropriately, a box of push-pins you can spread out on your desk before repeatedly smashing your head into it. This supposed advice book is a pile of anti-grammatical butchery of the English language coupled with silhouettes of "sluts" awkwardly juxtaposed with "inspirational" quotes from people who actually had brain cells in their heads. People like Mondrian and Van Gogh, who I'm fairly sure had other things on their minds than gallery space, business cards, and their selling attitude. What the fuck.

It goes through great lengths to tell me what I hafta do to succeed. BOOK. LET ME GET THIS STRAIGHT. I DO NOT HAFTA DO ANYTHING. There are some things I may be required to do in life, but this shortsighted shallow shitspill of a paperback is not the source of those things, I assure you.

I am slightly ashamed at my violent outburst towards said publication, but only because my well meaning father probably paid for it and I throughly appreciate the gesture.

I can't believe this, I haven't had a single day without being sick since the new year started. I usually have less or no allergies down in savannah, yet here I am sneezing so much my neck hurts. I've tried taking anti-histamines which seems to have worked up north, but so far no luck. I'm not sure if some kind of sinister mold has grown in my absence, but it's inconvenient. Anyway, just going to go to class and get shit done and hope things calm down.

I need a new chair.

The chiropractor said I must have one, and recommended one that was around 300 dollars.
Do any of you have a recommendation for a chair that one spends much time doing computer work in?

I wanted to share with you the Nietzsche Family Circus, which pairs a randomized Family Circus cartoon with a randomized Friedrich Nietzsche quote, in case you hadn't seen it, something actually interesting and amusing to come out of that throughly mind numbing "comic" and another excellent example of internet appropriation.

Extreme positions are not succeeded by
moderate ones, but by contrary
extreme positions.



Woman was God's second mistake.



Experience, as a desire for experience,
does not come off. We must not study
ourselves while having an experience.

and so on.

Settling in down in savannah. Dropped off nine rolls of film for pick up on monday, picked up three rolls, that's a good 12 rolls from this break, not bad. Had pizza with rin last night, I'm feeling a lot better, though my temperature seems to be fluctuating very strangely still. Grabbing my beater bike tonight, missed riding around savannah so much. It's so nice here.

Anyone know how to turn a subwoofer even farther down in software? It's down all the way in hardware and the normal software controls, but due to how small this room is it still sounds loud as hell (outside the room moreso)

Off to Savannah!

If everything works out as planned, I'll be posting again tomorrow.
Have a great night everyone!

Starting on this summer in NYC. Tomorrow I'm on a bus back home.

Today I finished up some stuff around Massachusetts, picked up a sweet three piece suit at salvy for 30 bucks (!) and helped my dad a bit with website problems.

I'm also amazed I can feel good after watching TV news and thinking about politics. I haven't been really hopeful in... eight years?

Back to regularly scheduled programing, here are some rolleis from new Jersey this summer:

Figured I'd just post the few I had in one post (except for the last one since I want to use it later), since I have so much stuff to post that if I posted one or two images a day it would take more than a year. Convenient for me, if I wanted to be lazy, but not very timely - especially because not every shot is worth its own post, obviously. I went over there to drop my rollei off for some repair, it hadn't seen any maintenance in more than 50 years, and had been stored pretty badly. It's doing allright now, though it will always be a bit finicky, I guess.

On a totally unrelated note, my sister and I downloaded Typing of the Dead on gametap the other day. Seriously, I had no idea it would be so fun or so hard. I remember when I had house of the dead two for dreamcast, or would play it in the arcade... I have to admit it's just as much fun spelling zombies to death.. actually more fun. The fact that the voice acting and everything else is so shitty just makes it more amazing, especially all the little video puns the company that revamped it threw in. Kick's mavis beacon's ass any day.

My fever has gone down a bit, from almost 103. I was able to eat a solid meal tonight, so I think I'll be fine by the time I have to take that 24 hour bus ride, thank god.

The New Year





Last night ended up being rather nice. I made a few phone calls to people important to me and it was wonderful. Realizing everyone I'm looking forward to seeing in this new year, all the people who were more than happy to hear from me, it was quite nice. I talked to a few people I hadn't heard from in a while and I'm so excited for what is coming up.

My sister and her friend coaxed me downstairs with muppets from space, which I'd never seen. I did have a drink, and we watched youtube videos and shared the funniest things we could think of.. The night ended wonderfully, after the clock hit 12 we stood outside on the back porch and yelled as loud as we could at the star filled sky. The echo was exhilarating. I heard from my closest friends, then went to bed feeling great.

Unfortunately, I woke up with a fever and the sweats, basically hallucinating some really weird stuff. I have no idea why. I only had one drink and it didn't feel like any alcohol related thing I've ever felt, plus I'd had 5 glasses of water to my one mixed drink the night prior. My sister, still up, took care of me, helping me to the bathroom, getting me a toothbrush, water, washcloths, etc. I'm extremely indebted to her. I'm still feeling very strange right now, my head isn't quite where it should be, and my chest is fluttering. I'll spare you the details, but hopefully I'll feel great soon. I hope all of you had a great night with a great morning to follow, haha.