These and the last few I posted were from last quarter, near the start. The way things go, you'll see the pictures from the last visit in a month and the ones from this visit this weekend in.. who knows. A couple of these are posted at TheOnesWeLove.org (which if you haven't checked out, you should) but I'm going to be sending them the newest ones as soon as they're scanned, since I shot them more specifically for that site... Or a combination of things will end up there, who knows.









Someone mentioned in the last entry that everyone that I've dated that they've seen pictures of here has model perfect figures. I don't think that's true, but I'm not going to link back to past entries and point out people.. that seems like it would be the exact opposite of the attitude I want to have about women. I think one thing is that you guys don't really know who I've been involved with. I generally don't tell specifics, and many people don't get mentioned here at all, mainly out of respect for them. You guys do see Beth, but keep in mind she's my best friend (her and Rin) (we only officially dated over a year ago). I don't really see much sexual about these pictures and that's not what they're about.

Feel free to tell her she has a perfect figure though, then I could take a break.


Beth: too bad i can't wear so many things
Beth: they dont even know
iaaphoto: lol
iaaphoto: like what?
Beth: like i fall over in heals so i have pretty much given them up
iaaphoto: hahaha and?
Beth: if a shirt goes above my pants when i sit down i am NOT comfortable in it
Beth: if its too tight, its not right
iaaphoto: like rides up?
Beth: eh
iaaphoto: That makes sense, as a general comfort thing.
Beth: and well
iaaphoto: You're generally very down to earth about clothes
Beth: yes
Beth: and it's not by choice
Beth: i try
iaaphoto: It's one of the things I like about you.
Beth: i tried! i bought the cutest shoes and this great HIP shirt and fuck i NEVER wear that stuff
iaaphoto: hahha
Beth: ha well i cant help it
Beth: so i'm glad you like it
iaaphoto: Well, you've got a natural awkward beauty? haha
Beth: hahahah
Beth: thanks ian
Beth: i'm an awkward beauty
Beth: score
iaaphoto: Best kind.
iaaphoto: Well, Rin says you move like you know you're hot
Beth: wtf does that MEAN
iaaphoto: but I think you move like you're unaware of it
iaaphoto: I don't know.
Beth: ha maybe i unconsciously strut in front of rin
iaaphoto: you gotta shake it to make it.
Beth: you move realllll gooood
iaaphoto: No way, I'm spastic.
iaaphoto: Spastic or sluggish
Beth: spastic reallllll gooooood
iaaphoto: hah
Beth: haha its the adorable kind of spastic
Beth: not the i need to point and laugh kind
Beth: ian i feel like i want to do something
Beth: make something
Beth: and its kinda great
iaaphoto: like a baby?
Beth: yes
Beth: like a baby
Beth: or
iaaphoto: sweet, I'll get the supplies.
iaaphoto: I'm holding the supplies right now.
Beth: hahaha
iaaphoto: just kidding.
Beth: how do i make fun friends with similar interest to me?
Beth: as me
Beth: to me? wtf?
iaaphoto: want me to see if I know anyone in atlanta?
iaaphoto: If you're lonely up there?
Beth: maybe??? don't like
Beth: tell them about me
Beth: just
Beth: scope out the scene
Beth: without initiating anything embarassing
iaaphoto: haha I'll make a post in my livejournal
iaaphoto: a giant advertisement
Beth: omo;momgogmg
Beth: nooooooo
Beth: o
Beth: joke
Beth: right
iaaphoto: BETH NEEDS FRIENDS
iaaphoto: you know one of my most enjoyable hobbies is making you uncomfortable in pleasant ways.
Beth: hahahha
Beth: i think that is awesome
Beth: pretty sure
Beth: hehe i gtg
iaaphoto: I earn myself a good sucker punch now and then
iaaphoto: but I think it's for the best.
iaaphoto: take care beth, we'll find you some hot friends
Beth: yeah i need to get on that
Beth: ahem
Beth: haha ok
Beth: bye
iaaphoto: I'll post a craigs list ad
iaaphoto: HOT RED HEAD, 20, OPEN TO THREESOMES
Beth: hahaha fuck you
Beth: goodnight
iaaphoto: ok, kidding about that one.
iaaphoto: goodnight.

The FUCKKK

Shut the fuck up mass media/advertising/society seriously shut the fuck up!!

LEFT: Fucking pretty, beautiful even, natural and lovely and what the HELL ON THE RIGHT: Is that EVEN THE SAME PERSON? IS THAT EVEN A PERSON?
It's not even makeup it's retouching!! AND MAKEUP. AND POSSIBLY A BODY DOUBLE. And I'm pretty sure the one on the left IS ALREADY RETOUCHED AND "Beauty" LIT!

I mean maybe the girl needs a cup of water cause her lips look a little dehydrated but SERIOUSLY
and don't even try and tell me this is just the internet/myspace/etc because this same crap is all over television, magazines, billboards

I know it's been said, but seriously shut the fuck up and keep your damn hands off my pretty girls. They don't know how beautiful they are and they NEVER FUCKING WILL IF YOU KEEP THIS UP. I happen to be attracted to (apparently) rosecea and dark circles and maybe freckles or acne scars or fucking bike accident scars or FUCKING LIFE AND LIVING AND STOP MAKING PEOPLE INTO WALKING CORPSES YOU FUCKING MORTICIANS

sorry.

I figured out one reason why I haven't been motivated to do photo work as much, my monitor is very off on color right now. Everything looks just a little bit wrong, and it's really hard to correct color. Hopefully digging out my spider (like I should be doing around now anyway) should help it, hoping it's not nearing the end of its life. That's the downside of a crt monitor you use a lot, they tend not to live too long.

Beth's around this weekend.

today the nature of my being is to include sitting at my table eating wendies (which I thought of during much time in line and said double cheeseburger and 5 piece nuggets while thinking very hard of the dollar menu items, double cheeseburger and five piece nuggets, but getting the regular menu (without a meal, she said. Asked.) without a meal double cheeseburger, which I suppose has lettuce and onions and let me check, pickles

I'm going to pretend to myself that I'm not going to post this (I am) and I'm going to pretend to myself that I'm not going to post this publicly (possible)
but I am a creature of minor rebellions (riding my bike on the double yellow line and feeling a very real fear and realization that with very very small motions I could will myself to be dead, and at the same time knowing that I would not do it, but the second I become the me that would do such things it is possible I would cease to exist (to other people

For example, the me that would find a sentence without a period or an opening parenthesis without a closing

or the me that plays games like how long do I go without mentioning something obvious?

or Camus (stranger) me versus Nietzsche (gay science) me versus "I'm obviously not as well read as you" me versus "Look how intelligent I am" me

Thinking construct, chemical bound and aided. Puts this bold (needs a close parenthesis to the above here:) )

Put this bold:

Mind goes blank on what, in the past seemed so important as a prim oh no

This is now bold:

"blank mind again, bite of sandwich"

There is it again

"The only thing I can be sure of in life is its complexity"

End bold

One bite is left of the sandwich and he realizes two (among others) things.

The first is that the taste he disliked the entire time was mustard (he was aware of this. I am horselover fat, he is me).

The second is that (he pauses here because he does not remember the second. This would be a good time to talk about his earlier conversation with Justin, representing


Justin: I do not remember what I said to you while sitting on the park bench, I do remember what I said to you.

Ian: I am now laughing while typing because I am so very clever.

And this would be written in giant font on the side of a gallery wall if he willed it so

But an equally artistic and beautiful moment would be himself

long gray mustache sitting on a park bench:

"There are choices I made in life, and they are the ones I made. To me everything was a metaphor, and every drug a thinking drug. Every move I made was beautiful, and carried with it great meaning. My life was perfect, as every life is. And I am the man in the tower, looking down at the sprawling city, and I am the baby in the gutter thinking cliches behind his fly covered eyes."

And then he would turn to himself and edit the sentence:

Long Gray Mustache, nursing his obvious physical discomforts, hernia et all, in direct contrast with his extremely forwardly positive vocal statements

And this discourse would be designed to make one think and feel, which one should be doing anyway, with absolutely no prodding or encouragement.

New (sub)section and a sip of water
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playing punctuation and grammar games should be a section of its own. How meta.

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Actual subsection:

If being a creature of faith, belief, and solid existence and being a creature of questions, contradictions, and fluid existence are truths (given) and of equal beauty (surmised?) and equally important (this parenthetical remark is existent to point out the previous two parenthetical remarks as a degradation of sureness [an increase in throwness {geworfenheit}, unrelated], but does so in a way that is not obvious at first and is quite artful) then What events and chemical occurrences conspire to differentiate between the two?

This calls for an epic (Homerian) list: Here, in brackets much like the ones surrounding html tags and for said reason not actually used, is an excuse for why the author did not actually make such a list, probably calling into account the author's laziness and nature that makes him open to asking questions but not as good at taking the time to properly consider them (or share his considerations if taken)

-------------------------------------------------------------
Copy And Pasted Several Times From The Front And Bottom of The Document Section

Edit: The Following Entry Has Been Edited Carefully To Make Sure No Edits Occurred

Post Script: The Out Pouring Of Creative Juices Is Something That Not Every Being Requires

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Self Important and Degrading Omega Section

In an era where substances are easy to find but morals hard to come by...

In a year where post-modern is modern and absurd is absolved...

In a movie announcer voice...

"Where are you?" "I'm here.. I'm in my room. That's easy enough to answer" "How did you get there?" "I biked" "That's Far" "Not Really, hold on" "I don't want to hold on" "I'm sorry. I'm writing something." "Oh. Did you meet your friend?" "No." "Ok, bye." "Bye." This is good, as it is possible to reference concrete things and connect to an action and words that are lost.

... back to living, An Important Act, back to pretending someone will read this (Spoiler Alert: they will), back to writing an entire paragraph without referencing the fact that there is a human being writing said paragraph, which is innately obvious in the fact of the paragraph's once and continued existence.

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"This is a work of fiction," he thought. "careful craftsmanship and quality ingredients combined to bring you the perfect Monet. Moment."
As he stared at the lillypads, his appreciation for all things and no things grew and shrank. He felt as though he could sympathize with the Hare Krishna's, with the Nihilists, with the Evangelists and the Atheists. "Today I am an idealized figure, but tomorrow I shall be a man. When I post myself I will become free and being free I will be able to move about my life as society expects me to, laughing to myself at how I've outwitted it by doing everything it expects me to." And he twisted his mustache and adjusted his separation of character from author hat, and stared.

Sometimes I miss New York City, but really I just miss the people. I always have this sort of odd feeling that the people I know in nyc would be people I like even more outside of nyc. I suppose it's similar to seeing a masterpiece in a museum or seeing it in someone's living room, or studio. It's convenient to be in a place like new york, but you lose a bit of the impact of things.

Tonight I did end up going out, though I didn't even bother to bring my ID. I haven't been drinking lately, I had one on new years, but it's been a while besides that. I don't feel bad about drinking, but I don't feel like spending money on it right now. It was a pretty pleasant evening, saw a lot of good people and caught up with a pretty important one. Reaffirmed to myself that my favorite time of night is around 2-3am, perfect for biking around savannah. I still haven't found that perfect girl to bike with me, but I can't help feeling that savannah at night by bike is intensely romantic.

I think my friend paul got hit by a car? I hope he's allright. I don't really know much about it. It seems like almost everyone I know who rides gets hit at some point in savannah, but very few of them result in serious injury, so I'm keeping my fingers crossed. I know I've been extremely lucky (though I don't take that many risks).

Tomorrow I hope to make progress in understanding the fullness of my being. hah.

I just read The Stranger, by Albert Camus.

I'm not sure what to think yet, though it certainly is something that I'm glad to have read in the context of other things I have read. I'm really not sure. I'm not sure of much these days. I feel like while I was reading it I thought of Murakami's protagonists, caught up in a society that pushes them along a path, ending up in strange places but never really feeling like they'd made a decision.

I'm at a stage right now where I'm simply reading and absorbing a lot, and my brain is processing it on a level that isn't connected with language or decision making but is important nonetheless. The things I'm most looking forward to reading are more short fiction, Tolstoy, Dostoevsky, Beckett, Hesse, among others. If anything, I've only read longer works by any of these people, and I think about how I never really appreciated Kafka until I read his short parables, most much smaller than a page.

It seems some people really understand things, but I'm not one of them. I guess math, to me, is concrete, but only because I'm not smart enough to see where it starts to become fluid and ethereal.


unrelated journal entry

Laundry is a slight mystery to me. The exact workings of it vary, but there are times where I will pile clothes in a corner until at some late night moment they are suddenly clean and I will fold them neatly and sort them into a drawer.

I find showers to be a simple joy in life and take a certain pleasure out of washing my hair or having a few minute sit on the shower floor. Sometimes I will shower multiple times in a day. This is probably wasteful, but I admit to having many flaws.

At the least, I am probably a being of complicated smells.

I ripped up my first book ever today.

I wasn't planning on doing so, but after having given reading it my best possible shot, the only response available seemed to be to physically tear it apart. So I did. This is the book. I'm not going to go into detail on my views of money and consumer society at this point, it is not necessary.

What is necessary is that I point out your money would be better spent buying a subscription to a bestiality site and ductape for your eyes or even, more appropriately, a box of push-pins you can spread out on your desk before repeatedly smashing your head into it. This supposed advice book is a pile of anti-grammatical butchery of the English language coupled with silhouettes of "sluts" awkwardly juxtaposed with "inspirational" quotes from people who actually had brain cells in their heads. People like Mondrian and Van Gogh, who I'm fairly sure had other things on their minds than gallery space, business cards, and their selling attitude. What the fuck.

It goes through great lengths to tell me what I hafta do to succeed. BOOK. LET ME GET THIS STRAIGHT. I DO NOT HAFTA DO ANYTHING. There are some things I may be required to do in life, but this shortsighted shallow shitspill of a paperback is not the source of those things, I assure you.

I am slightly ashamed at my violent outburst towards said publication, but only because my well meaning father probably paid for it and I throughly appreciate the gesture.

I can't believe this, I haven't had a single day without being sick since the new year started. I usually have less or no allergies down in savannah, yet here I am sneezing so much my neck hurts. I've tried taking anti-histamines which seems to have worked up north, but so far no luck. I'm not sure if some kind of sinister mold has grown in my absence, but it's inconvenient. Anyway, just going to go to class and get shit done and hope things calm down.

I need a new chair.

The chiropractor said I must have one, and recommended one that was around 300 dollars.
Do any of you have a recommendation for a chair that one spends much time doing computer work in?

I wanted to share with you the Nietzsche Family Circus, which pairs a randomized Family Circus cartoon with a randomized Friedrich Nietzsche quote, in case you hadn't seen it, something actually interesting and amusing to come out of that throughly mind numbing "comic" and another excellent example of internet appropriation.

Extreme positions are not succeeded by
moderate ones, but by contrary
extreme positions.



Woman was God's second mistake.



Experience, as a desire for experience,
does not come off. We must not study
ourselves while having an experience.

and so on.